According to the Merriam-Webster’s Collegiate Dictionary, a crush is “an intense and usually passing infatuation.” One day, a teen might see this incredibly gorgeous guy, and know that she is in love. She thinks about him constantly; she talks about him with her friends and dreams about him. The teen manages to be where he is, and she decides that she desperately needs help in the subjects in which he excels. In her initial period of euphoria, he appears to be the image of perfection. If he became her boyfriend, she would be the luckiest person in the entire world.
Unfortunately, things don’t always work out as an adolescent plans. Her attempts to connect with him do not seem to work. He shows little interest in the teen. . Even if he does acknowledge her, all too quickly the adolescent may realize how little the two have in common. In addition, the teen does not like his interests or his friends. He seems to have a number of annoying habits. Soon, one realizes that there is little basis for a relationship, and the crush fades. Finally she cannot imagine what she ever saw in him, and the adolescent becomes upset for wasting so much time thinking about him. Though it is truly unfair, the teen may be mad at him for failing to live up to her expectations.
Still, crushes don’t always follow this pattern, and they are not always brief. In fact, crushes may continue for a considerable period of time. Some people have crushes that last for years. During one’s adolescence, both boys and girls should expect to have many crushes.
Crushes are rarely reciprocal. This may make a girl feel unhappy and discouraged, especially if he is interested in one of your friends. It is not uncommon for a teen to befriend another teen in order to meet that teen’s friend. Or, one may have a crush on a teacher or a friend’s parent or sibling. It is not infrequent where an adolescent may have a crush on someone who is considerably older or younger. Crushes do not only happen between people of opposite sexes. Boys may have crushes on boys, and girls may have crushes on girls. Such crushes do not, necessarily, mean that a teen is gay or lesbian. They may be part of a youth’s social development. Some crushes are inevitably doomed. If one is a female who has a crush on a gay guy or a male who has a crush on a lesbian, the most one can hope for is a good friendship.
Some people may develop a crush on someone they have “met” on the Internet. Even if the source of your Internet crush sounds wonderful, one should not agree to meet without the supervision of one’s parents. Everyday, people including sexual predators misrepresent who they are on the Internet. Meeting an Internet crush without the physical presence of a parent could be dangerous or deadly.
Of course, adolescents frequently have crushes on actors and musicians. It is not at all uncommon for adolescents to have posters of their favorite actors and musicians hanging in their rooms or in their school lockers. They may carry a photo, join a fan club or set up a Web site for admirers. Though there is very little chance that they will ever have any direct communication with actors and musicians, the crush may consume quite a bit of the adolescent’s time, attention, and energy.
While most crushes are probably innocent, they have the potential to be harmful. It is unrealistic for a teen to devote a lot of attention to a crush. It is healthier to direct one’s time to school, friends, and athletic endeavors. Also, teens should ask themselves this important question. Are you focusing on your improbable crush to avoid the messy complications that sometimes occur in everyday relationships? A crush is not a substitute for real involvement with another person. A teen will not learn how to relate to other people if he or she does not have personal, human interactions with them. One should also realize that no one would ever be able to live up to the expectations created by a crush. No mere mortal is as ideal as an individual imagines that person to be.
At the same time, crushes do add a great deal of spice to an adolescent’s life. There is now a new reason to jump out of bed in the morning. Just thinking about a chance encounter will make a teen’s heart flutter. Perhaps, one may wonder, today will be the day the two will connect.
Adolescent crushes are usually based on physical appearance. After all, one knows little or nothing about the other person. A crush generally begins and ends in the mind of one person. It is part of a teen’s imagination.
Teens should not let their crushes turn into an obsession. The situation could get out of control especially if the adolescent is focusing all of his or her attention on the other person. One can see a counselor for assistance and guidance. If a teen feels that someone is obsessed with them, or has begun to stalk them then they should report these actions to their parents, teacher, counselor or principal.
Related topics:
Dating, Internet safety, stalking
