Friday, December 20, 2013

Santa told to sleigh down

Mr. Kris Kringle, an 895-year-old male, was admitted to the MGH Dec. 13 with complaints of abdominal pain, fever, nausea and vomiting. It is suspected that the holiday stress pushed the patient to self-medicate with peppermint schnapps in the hope of remedying his back pain resulting from years of bumpy sleigh rides. Fortunately – thanks to first-year MGH surgical residents – Kringle will make a full recovery and leave with prescriptions for a cookie and milk diet and lumbar support sleigh seats.

“His clinical condition was tenuous at times,” said surgical resident Yanik Bababekov, MD. “To make matters worse, the Grinch was spotted running around the MGH trying to steal Christmas. But not to worry, the interns got the situation under control and Santa on his way.”

The annual admission of Santa Claus as a patient at the MGH dates back to the early 1950s, when a surgical resident first decided to log a humorous account of the jolly old man’s ailments. The caring for Kringle became tradition in the ensuing years and his medical record now stands some 4 feet tall.

Read more articles from the 12/20/13 Hotline issue.


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