Beginning in childhood, many people have been taught to face life's crises with a "stiff upper lip," to "bear-up and be strong." As we are influenced by these subconscious messages, we may become fearful that any show of emotion, particularly tears, might be interpreted by others as a sign of weakness: "He's falling apart," or "She's going to pieces."
One of the tragedies in our society today is that many bereaved family members and friends experience their grief alone, feeling "there must be something wrong with me, or certainly no one I know has ever felt or behaved in these strange ways." Fearful of embarrassment or of appearing "crazy" to others, many bereaved persons hide their true feelings of grief.
It is important for you to realize that what you are experiencing is most likely a normal, natural, and expected response to the loss of a significant person in your life.