This month's blog article was featured in the July 2025 issue of our digital newsletter, Aspire Wire.
By Stephen DeFilippo, PsyD
Associate Manager, Teen and Adult Services
As we approach the beginning of summer, we find ourselves in a “season of endings” including graduations, transitions, and goodbyes. While these experiences can often involve excitement and happiness, they can also be extremely difficult, involving feelings of sadness, anxiety, and uncertainty. A “good goodbye”, or a healthy termination is a thoughtful and important way to bring closure to a meaningful experience or relationship.
While endings are a natural and important part of life, sometimes people may rush through them, avoid them, or downplay their significance. While avoidance can be easier or feel better in the moment, it is important to take the time to reflect on the transition and the experiences and people involved in making it meaningful.
Many summers ago, I had the wonderful experience of working closely with a group of elementary students who had unfortunately faced some difficulties early on in their lives. They had some amazing experiences throughout the summer and grew tremendously, which we wanted to celebrate with an award ceremony. As a less experienced staff member at the time, I was curious as to why we were making two copies of the awards for each student. My wise supervisor at the time told me it was because we could expect at least some of the students to throw their awards away when they received them, and they sent a second copy home after the program ended. He talked about how difficult it can be to say goodbye, especially after experiencing so much success and praise, and particularly when you have internalized negative feelings about yourself. Sometimes it can be easier to say goodbye by downplaying the meaningfulness of the experience and connections. Throwing out the award in this context was a way to do that. I often think about these students during times of ending and transition and how my supervisor was as thoughtful about saying goodbye as he was about every other aspect of the program that summer. Many years later, I heard from some of those same students who still had their awards that were sent home, and they shared how grateful they were to have them.
Whether you're a student ending another school year, a caregiver watching your child graduate, or a clinician ending a group or professional relationship, try to lean into the ending the best you can. Take the time to say goodbye to those you shared these meaningful experiences with. Talk about the significance of the transition and the time you spent together. Leave space to reflect on and express your feelings. A good goodbye doesn’t have to mean forever—it can mean “thank you,” “I’ll remember this,” or “I’m ready for what’s next.” When we end well, we’re more open to beginning again.